This year, for Mental Health Awareness week (13-19 May), we’re launching ‘The Heaviest Backpack’, our brand-new campaign focusing on young mental health and the power of Positive Relationships.

I am sure most people would agree that the need for positive relationships – for all of us – is unequivocal and a basic need – we are social creatures after all. However, the importance of these positive relationships goes beyond that, as evidenced through a report from our A Million & Me programme , which provided funding to the value of £10 million for early intervention work with children aged between 8 and 13. This validated that Positive Relationships – trusting and safe connections between children and the important people in their lives – are key in helping to prevent the development of mental health challenges.

We see this everyday through the brilliant projects and organisations we fund and in my role, I often talk with fantastic project workers, like Dylan in the Heaviest Backpack film, about their work, and the impact of the support they provide. Quite simply:

Simply taking time to listen and not judge, to spend time undertaking activities can have a profound impact on young lives, although the impact and influence that this has on the future direction of a young person or child may not be understood for many years. Personally, I remember Alan from when I was a teenager. Alan was a youth worker in the church based youth organisation I was a member of, and he took time to understand me, invest time in me and help with my own self belief. I am still in contact with Alan many years later, and continue to be grateful for his professional skill and care.

Over the next few months and years we’re going to be talking about the importance of positive relationships a lot more, and also continuing to build the evidence base to demonstrate the transformative role that they have, supporting young people to be the best they can be.

Positive Relationships at The Abingdon Bridge

We spoke with Gary Hibbins, CEO of The Abingdon Bridge in Oxfordshire to find out more about the work they do to champion the wellbeing & mental health of young people and why our campaign, The Heaviest Backpack, is so important.

Tell us about The Abingdon Bridge

My name is Gary Hibbins, I’m the CEO and one of the therapists that work here at The Abingdon Bridge. BBC Children in Need have given us an amazing grant that helps support children aged 13-18 with emotional wellbeing.

We support around 200 people a week from various backgrounds with a wide range of issues. We have an amazing team of therapists and youth workers who can see first-hand the impact and understand children’s needs. We help them to understand the weight that they carry and provide them with ways they can unpack that bag safely.

BBC Children in Need are launching ‘The Heaviest Backpack’ to show that burdens, whether it’s anxiety or problems at home, can weigh children down and follow them everywhere. In your experience what are some of the issues that children and young people have in their backpack?

Over the last few years, there’s been significant events, such as Covid and the cost of living crisis which has had an impact on relationships.

We’ve seen an increase in the number of children and young people coming to us who are burdened by unhealthy relationships at home (domestic violence etc.), young people who have to take on a lot of responsibility and the impact this can have. The cost of living separates people out even further.

We see a lot of young people can’t cope with the weight of their bag, they look to self sooth through unhealthy relationships, drugs, alcohol and self-harm.

They carry a lot of stress and anxiety of the unknown, and anxiety around fitting in and comparison, especially with the digital world. We try to teach them that anxiety isn’t always a bad thing, they can tune into it and learn from it. It’s just when it becomes unmanageable, that’s when it needs to be unpacked.

How does The Abingdon Bridge support young people with their mental health?

We run a number of sessions, such as 1-1 counselling services. Young people come in and we understand that they won’t necessarily take their backpack off straight away – that rarely happens as young people hide this to protect themselves – like a padlock would on a backpack. We let young people tell us as much as they’d like and take things at their pace.

We also have a wellbeing service with trips and taking people out. A big part of removing that backpack is sharing it and getting that sense of belonging. We give young people the opportunity it to commit to something, to get that sense of belonging – it helps hugely.

We also run as ambassador program. Young people who have been through the program come back to help others, share their journeys and map out what future support may look like for them.

One of the biggest things you can help young people to understand is that life is challenging – there will always be bumps along the way. You’re never going to not have some sort of weight to carry,

and sometimes it’s normal and you need it. But it becomes unhealthy when it’s crippling you and you don’t know how to unload it.

A backpack has many compartments and zips. We like to get young people to understand what they need to carry, and what parts they can unpack and work through. We help young people regulate themselves and understand what they can take out of their bag and what they can get rid of. Also what they’re able to deal with right now and what they need support with in the future.

How does this campaign align with The Abingdon Bridge’s mission and values?

There’s a huge synergy. Watching the campaign trail made me think of many young people we see who feel like that. Often the backpack is invisible to others around them – only the young person feels the weight.

We are really about supporting young people and helping them thrive and reach their full potential. This can only be done when you’re not carrying weight of the world on your shoulders.

Has the number of young people needing support changed in recent years? If so, how have you managed this?

It’s been really interesting. I’ve been here 7 years and seen a huge shift in the numbers of children and young people coming forward and seeking help. There’s been a big change in talk around mental health, but a lack of resources on how people can help themselves. Without BBC Children in Need, we wouldn’t be able to provide the huge number of services that we do.

A lot of young people think they’re the only person experiencing these issues and don’t know how to handle it. They’re weighed down by really heavy backpacks but don’t know how to deal with it. We help them to understand that a lot of it can be dealt with if you have the tools to deal with it in the right way, and sharing how they’re feeling with someone really helps.

Waiting lists and referrals can sometimes leave young people feeling more anxious whilst they wait 6+ months. We aim to help young people understand how they’re feeling and how they can unpack their backpacks and how they can deal with it. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we open up a space in a local town (with pool tables etc). We get around 30 young people turn up and they’re probably some of the most vulnerable young people who come from horrific experiences/trauma. We provide a safe space with trusted adults and let them just be a kid again – you can visibly see the weight come off their shoulders.

BBC Children in Need believes in the power of positive relationships between young people and trusted adults- in your experience, how do positive relationships make a difference?

Having the right relationships, whether therapeutic or just general positive relationships are fundamental in building trust and providing safe spaces. For us, this makes a huge difference. A lot of young people we support don’t have this in their lives, so it’s fundamental for us in ensuring young people can be themselves, be open and feel safe.

Our young ambassadors want to make a difference because of their positive relationships and the impact it had on them whilst at the projects. We still get people who pop in and say hello who went here 4 years ago! We also recently had a 21 year old lad do a half marathon based on his experiences of being here when he was 16, to raise money to help give back.

What do you find is the most rewarding part about your job here at The Abingdon Bridge?

We had a young lad, we’ll call him T. T come from a loving family but his dad passed away on Christmas day. It’s been a very challenging time for him. He’s spent many months not understanding the weight he was carrying in his backpack and how to regulate himself. This led to him getting involved in crime and risky behaviours. We sat down with him, and helped him understand the weight he was carrying and how this was making him feel.

Flash forward a few months, he stood up and said he wants to help make a difference to the next generation and people who have been through similar experiences. He now wants to focus his studies on helping others. He’s even now going to sit his A Levels after previously being excluded from school.

When you’ve got young people who give their time without being asked, feel a desire to improve communities they live in, it’s really rewarding. You can see they feel a sense of belonging and purpose. That’s what we do it for. Seeing young people thriving in the communities they live and how can influence and bring change.

I didn’t feel that growing up (due to trauma, loss etc). It makes or breaks you. It made me realise I want to improve the lives of young people – I want to help them as it helps me. It still inspires me to this day.

We know that some children carry more than others. If you could send one message to children and young people who might be struggling right now, what would you say?

I would say:

The burden of the bag, and the heaviness that you feel, will pass. The more that you can take time to share some of the weight sometimes with a trusted adult will help you. Maybe start with a little zip on the side. Take it step by step. Check your bag and see what can be left behind that day.

Don’t ever limit what you feel like you can achieve. You can achieve everything you imagine. Belonging and committing yourself to something can make a difference, and that’s a great place to start.

A massive thank you to BBC Children in Need for leading on this and [being] at the forefront of children and young people’s mental health across the country. I’ve seen first-hand the difference it can make.

We’re really honoured and thrilled to take part in this campaign.